How Entertainment Manifests Itself In Captivity

This summer/fall, the Minnesota Zoo had two tiger cubs being streamed online twenty four hours a day.

Because of extenuating circumstances, like the descent of human kind into cubicle-dwelling cave monkeys, I watched the tiger cubs daily.  I learned their feeding schedules.  I scrutinized their little furry bodies for any understanding of their sex (extremely difficult as they moved a lot, while the camera did not).  I texted regular updates to my family and friends.  I became uncomfortably familiar with the lower halves of their keepers’ bodies.  In ritualistically gazing upon the tigers, I discovered their patterns and attitudes.  It was a ‘Gorillas in the Mist’ situation.  Except I was miles away, pretending to look busy.

I named the tigers Meanie and Wimp.  Meanie picked on Wimp a lot, and Wimp – she took it.

Fortunately, Wimp is also a tiger, so taking Meanie’s abuses really just means a lot of adorableness.

Now the tigers are outside and have real names.  Fortunately, just as cute:

Today my mom and dad and sister are in town.  They say 25 degrees is too cold to go to the zoo.  That’s too bad, because I think they would really get along with Wimp.

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