My mom had me review our Christmas card briefly (and she didn’t even fix the comma error I pointed out — go figure!), and when she got all frett-y and hemmy and hawy about it, I suggested she write a review of all the gross animal stories from our house in the past year.
This is how that card might have gone:
2012 began with two dogs, Rocky and Connor, and a cat, Simon, in the house. Rocky had been living with lymphoma and regular chemo treatments for over a year. His eyes were starting to cloud over, but he was still all about anything round and throwable, which meant you had to be careful when throwing things for him because you just might bonk him in the head. Connor was, at this point, a foster dog undergoing some behavior therapy and some physical therapy because both his body and his mind are broken, beyond repair but not beyond coping. Simon was sniffly, nursing a “cold” he had had for half a year or so.
In the Spring, Rocky died. That was sad — oh wait, this is a Christmas card. I mean: What a tragic loss at the end of a long battle, but we were blessed to have him for as long as we did. (Christmas cards are basically required to say “blessed.”)
Around the same time, Connor became a permanent member of the family.
In the Summer, Reno joined us. He is a foster dog. He is old-ish, but has a lot of energy. Also, he won’t poop unless he’s on a leash. He smells something awful, and there is no keeping him off the couch. He also eats anything you leave out, especially fruit.
Also, one time in the summer, Connor peed on Dad while on the boat. It was funny.
In the Fall, Reno had some laser work done because his eyelashes were growing the wrong way, into his eyes.
Also in the Fall, Connor had a little mishap involving a little nick during grooming that essentially caused his skin to peel off exposing the cartilage in his ear. The humans felt awfully bad about accidentally trying to skin their dog, but he didn’t seem to mind the injury as much as the cone.
On Christmas, Dad got an ornament commemorating Rocky, and everybody cried. Happy holidays!
Now 2013 has come, likely bringing its own share of dog adventures! Reno’s eye is looking funny again…
And Simon still has a cold.