Why You Should Take the Stairs

Elevators would be more fun if you got to program both sides.  At work, we have elevators that have no buttons in them.  Instead, there’s a pad outside the elevator where you punch in the number you want and it tells you which elevator to go to.  There is some fancy energy-efficient elevator algorithm behind this.  It mostly seems like malarkey, but it does prevent you from ever having to stop more than five times, which is nice.  And critically important since there are only 8 floors, and those three you don’t hit are necessary for preventing extreme elevator rage.

When you press your floor, the elevator assumes you want a lift from your floor to whatever floor you selected.  But it would be way better if you could also decide what floor you wanted it to open up on for picking somebody up.  That way, up on nine, I could send lots of elevators to lots of other floors, and people would think we had ghosts.

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