FYI, I have been titling all of my posts up until now (with exception of the serials) starting with “Why” or “How.” This has been fun, although some are more entertaining than others.
Anyway, I’m dropping that.
But also we’re keeping Punday Monday, Why Food is Funny Friday, and Cats on Sats.
And yes, Cats on Sats will probably continue to be just one cat.
Still looking for care bear ideas.
I haven’t written in ten days, and I’m still planning on taking the next week off. There’s just too much real life going on right now, with moving and graduations (other people’s, not mine) and finals and work and snow and car adventures and really, who in their right mind is in three book clubs?
Anyway, look for me in May. My goal for return is May 1, although my steadfast deadline is May 4 (which is the first weekend, and also the day I have a big project due, so a bit more likely than the first of the month).
I have, however, found it very interesting that in the past ten days, my readership has not altered dramatically. I mean, I don’t get any likes or comments or anything because there’s nothing new, but just as many people are looking at my blog as normally are when I’m posting every day. I’m not sure if I should be slightly offended by the notion that my posting apparently makes no real impact in terms of my gathering readers, or if I should be delighted that I have put enough nonsense on the internet that there are people investigating it without novelty prompting them to do so.
There are too many weekend days where I wake up between 9 and 10 and go, “Oh man. I need a blog post.” And then I don’t get out of bed for a few hours (homework! I’m doing homework!) and suddenly I’m totally late for the day.
Plus, it doesn’t really matter what you put on the internet, somebody is doing it better.
I know y’all are just totally awed by my ability to post daily and not participate in too many cop outs and not go on too many rants, but, as your impressed state suggests, it is difficult to come up with all of this stunningly brilliant stuff.
(No worries, I’m rolling my eyes too. It’s Friday, you guys. Overt self-confidence is excused. Fridays are the best. )
Anyway, I like posting daily (it keeps y’all coming back), so here’s the plan:
- Pun Days on Mondays
- Why Food is Funny Fridays
- Cats on Sats
The rest of the time I will summon up my undying wit. Also, I would like to incorporate the Care Bears regularly as well, but I don’t have enough ideas right now, so if you have some, let’s hear it.
I am sitting on the couch, stocking up on blog posts.
Me: Dad, say something funny.
Dad: You can’t just force it like that.
At least ten minutes pass. People and conversation move.
Dad: Weasel cantada.
Me, in an email to my sister, Megan:
Did you know there are NO ANTELOPE in the Americas, despite that stupid song about this being “where the deer and the [fucking] antelope play”??! What is it about this country that makes us want to teach our children everything wrong at a young age?
P.S. There are pronghorns though, but they are not antelopes.
P.P.S. If you google “where the deer and the antelope play,” Google tries to suggest you search for “where the deer and the cantaloupe play.”
P.P.P.S. If you did have an antelope, and you cut off its legs, it would be an antelop.
P.P.P.P.S. You are welcome for such wonderful blog material.
My sister, in response:
Maybe you should write your own blog, because this is pretty much golden. I would read it every day and comment on all of your posts about how brilliant you are. I’m serious. I know you still think I’m being sarcastic when I say I’m serious but I’m really serious and I don’t know how to convey it to you because I’m usually sarcastic so I guess you’re just going to have to believe me that I would like your blog.