Coworker: Oh, I need to vent about new words
Me: new words?
Me: are they good new words?
Me: or like words where people decided to drop parts of real words?
Me: or combine words?
Me: or words definining social phenomena?
Me: or harry potter words?
Coworker: Yes, hmm, not really, somewhat, yes, yes, probably
Me: wait onboarding wasn’t already a word?
Me: and cat cafe, also already a thing
Me: manspreading is like a quick coined term that’s going to die in another few years
Coworker: Yes, they were ‘things’, but apparently not words
Me: also, mkay is spelled mmkay
Me: ALSO HANGRY IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE WORDS
Me: try asking a hangy person if they are “a hangry hangry hamster”
Coworker: Well, now you don’t sound so uneducated when you say it.
Me: they get SO MAD
Coworker: So here’s my beef:
Coworker: We get all kinds of “new words” when dictionary people decide they need more web hits… Why don’t they add words like “alright”?
Me: wait alright isn’t a word
Coworker: It ought to be, don’t you think?
Coworker: Everybody uses it.
Me: yeah and like altogether is a word so old-school word merges are generally already in
Coworker: How about “funner”? I grew up being taught that the proper way to express it is by saying that something was “more fun”.
Me: i dislike funner
Coworker: Ah, but do you know why?
Me: funnest isn’t a thing either
Me: because it sounds dumb
Me: and also because people instilled its not worthy of word ness in me
Me: but also it sounds super dumb
Coworker: It does sound odd, I’ll grant you that, but I think consistency is more important. Adjective, adjectiver, adjectivest.
Coworker: Quick, quicker, quickest, green, greener, greenest, fun, funner, funnest
Coworker: Also, one of the new words is pwn, which I guess makes ‘w’ a vowel
Me: OMG my scrabble game just got so much better
Coworker: Scrabble’s got their own dictionary; they might not sync with Oxford’s
Coworker: Then again, knowing Scrabble, they probably already had it
Me: OK, i am going to fair land
Coworker: Alright, have the funnest of times
Coworker: [sic] x 2
Me: actually, i don’t mind funnest
Me: funner is dumb
Me: awesome pun
Me: slash new word suggestion
Me: a funeral that is more entertaining that usual
Coworker: Alternate defintion suggestion:
Coworker: When somebody says or does something that totally ruins the fun