Here’s something that pisses me off:
Scene: Doctor’s visit, in the exam room, with either a nurse or the doctor themselves. We are going through the normal questions — are you on any medications? etc.
Doctor: Are you sexually active?
Me: Yes.
[Dude. My parents and like neighbors and stuff read this blog. …Yeah, guys, I get some. Owned.]
Doctor: Any chance you could be pregnant?
Me: No.
Doctor looks up at me with a ‘quizzical’ look that is barely disguising their “Are you an effing moron?” thought.
Me: I’m gay.
Doctor: Oh.
Me, mentally, as I watch them cross out the next few questions about practicing safe sex and skip to the next section: Are you an effing moron?
Y’all ready for my soapbox?
It’s really more of a bottle.
Because here’s the thing, you guys: Safe sex in same-sex encounters, including between women, exists, and it matters. So what if I’m not going to get pregnant? There are a gazillion other cooties out there that I don’t need sliding over into my holy temple (let alone secret fortress – yeah, I went there), thank you very much.
The gay-est explanation of STDs I could find.
I was lucky. I did have sex-ed in school. It was abstinence-only through middle school, and then “comprehensive” in 10th grade. I recognize that out in the real world, this put me and my buddies leagues ahead of some of my peers.
Not that I ever heard the word “gay” in that class, as I filled in crosswords with various forms of birth control. Which is ridiculous given that regardless of if you lean high or low, a statistically significant number of people in that class will* have a same-sex encounter.
*I mean, they probably already have. We made it through college.
Thank goodness for the internet. Because a quick google search just for “safe lesbian sex” shows you that it does exist: here and here and here and here, just for starters. And an image search for “gay kittens” gives you this:
-Wait! Do you have a dental dam? -No, but I have some saran, we’re cool.
Antelop 
At my lady parts doctor, they ask you your sexual orientation BEFORE they ask you if you’re sexually active or could be pregnant. But I dunno if they talk to the gaybeans about safe sex or not.
PS can that be my silly nickname for you now? Gaybean? I think it’s so freaking cute. And it makes me giggle.
You can call me Gaybean if you want, as long as you know that word, as a semi-affectionate, semi-hilarious term, already existed before right now.
Yes I know, I stole it from everyoneisgay 🙂